She Keeps Me Warm
by Lord Tubbington
Summary: The way season one should have ended, in my opinion. Rated M purely for the language used. Alex Vause/Piper Chapman.


**Author's Note: Yes, I binged on Orange is the New Black. It's my latest obsession and I was NOT satisfied with how the show ended like it did! I needed more.. or at least, I needed it to end with some Vausman! So yeah, this is the last like five minutes of the show plus what I want to happen when season two starts up lol Feel free to review/comment. Oh, and of course, I don't Orange is the New Black or any rights to the characters though I wish I did.. Enjoy!**

Adrenaline has a strange sense of when the "right" time to kick in is. I didn't need it now, I needed it two seconds ago when slave-to-Jesus Doggett was waving her little cross in front of my face. That would have been a fantastic time to get a sudden rush of adrenaline just to smack that weirdly shaped vampire stake out of her grimy hands and show her that I have the power. But that doesn't happen. Doggett manages to back me up to the fence while Mr. Healy stands there on his fucking high horse. I feel trapped, like a helpless rat in a cage, ironic when my mind jumps to that dead rat that had been lying on my cabinet. Maybe this was Doggett's way of trying to appear more intellectual than a half-brained monkey and make this entire situation some sick metaphor. Though if that's her angle, she should really work on executing her intentions better. If I somehow come out of this "holy cleansing" alive, I'll have to explain to Doggett that metaphors can't be so vague.. it'd get confusing.

My chest is pounding and I'm sure Doggett can see the fear in my eyes or maybe Jesus gave her the power to smell it on me, who knows? I have my screwdriver out in front of me, attempting to keep distance, but she's still mumbling that God chose her to do this. Which if we took a moment to breathe and really dissect what she blabs about, why on Earth would God who talks about sharing love want her to kill someone? Isn't that disobeying one of his main principles? I'm seriously tempted to say that right now, but a (somewhat rational) part of my brain tells me to shut up. I scrunch up my face a little, not entirely sure if that was my brain talking to me or if Alex's voice had managed to worm its way inside my head.

"Just.. keep the fuck away from me, crazy!" Great with words, Piper. I'm sure Doggett is really shaking in her Jesus sandals.

"You think I'm scared of you? I have God by my side!" Doggett spat, jerking her cross stake towards me in emphasis. She swung her arm, catching my outstretched hand with the sharpened point of her stake.

"Fuck!" That little piece of shit. I glanced at my weapon lying in the snow, my blood splattered around it. Guess it's a good thing I had my tetanus shot already this year.

"And He told me, you ain't worth nothing!... See? See how he just works through me? And he wants me to smite you!"

If it weren't for the fucking pain in my hand, I'd have some "menacing" look on my face and threaten to smite the fuck out of her. It's strange, really. How frightened I am yet I can feel the anger begin to build up. What fucking right does she have? Even if she is chosen by God, she can't judge me! She can't decide whether I live or die because God-fucking-forbid, I told her that God doesn't apply to everyone. I hold my bleeding hand close, my hand shaking as it closes slowly into a bloody fist. I can't even feel the cut anymore. Did God somehow transfer his powers from Doggett to me? Ha. That'd be a plot twist no one, especially Meth Mouth would expect. If only.

"I see things."

Is she still talking? I stare at Doggett in disbelief, like seriously? She just cut my hand, probably gave me some sort of unidentified disease, and she's talking about Jesus fucking Christ. I keep staring at her, unable to find words to form the hatred I feel towards her.

Doggett must see something in my expression because she's holding her stake with both hands now, eyes wide, and a subtle shake to her hands. She's holding it less like a weapon and more so like the cross it imitated. Was I suddenly possessed and God was giving her the power to exorcise me? "Hmm, she-devil. That's what you are. You're the devil, and I'm the angel of God. I mean, look at my dress!" She waves one arm out, showing off her dress like I give a damn what she's wearing. "Have you seen it? How's that for poetry? Hmm?" She pressed her free hand to her chest, nodding in agreement with her own words. "Because God loves me. He don't love you. 'Cause you ain't worthy of God's love, you ain't worthy of nobody's love!"

Of course, Doggett was right.. not that I'd ever admit that aloud. I didn't deserve anyone's love nor was I even close to being worthy of it. Alex loved me, I threw it away twice. Larry loved me, but I stomped on his heart over and over again each time I kissed Alex and fucked her in the chapel. Even Polly.. I wasn't worthy of her love or friendship. She did a lot for me even if all I thought she did nowadays was crack unfunny jokes and complain about the life I envy. I wasn't worthy.. even this God I didn't believe in. If He was real, I'd expect Him to be able to love everyone but me. I did nothing to be worthy of such a privilege from anyone.

I happen to look at my hands, note that they're trembling. I was becoming overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with frustration at Doggett's insistent stupidity, anger at Larry for ruining everything with that dumbass interview, the desperation for not being alone, for needing someone (preferably a sight challenged ex-member of an international drug cartel), the sad realization that I fucked up things way beyond my control, and the constant push I felt inside to just run and leave this fucking place behind. They're building up, pushing up the faint remnants of dinner, the bile coating the back of my throat with threats to evacuate my body. I wasn't sure what I'd do first: vomit, punch Doggett, or run for my life.

"So.. I think it's time that you die." Doggett's words forcing me back into the present just before she lunged at me, stake in hand.

"NO!" I instinctively knee her in the stomach and when she's doubled over, I elbow her in the back. I'd have to thank Poussey and the gang later for the advice. I leap on top of her, pinning her down with what strength I manage to still have and swing. My fist collides with her cheek and it feels so. fucking. good. I hit her again, my knuckles smacking into bone, perhaps her jaw.

You know that saying? The one where all you see is red? It's not like that at all. It's closer to an outer body experience. I know I was punching Doggett, but I felt like I was someone else watching it happen. It felt like a dream. I didn't see the blood coming out of her mouth or the bruises aligning my knuckles from punching inaccurately. I didn't even see Doggett. All I could see was every mistake I made or every insult I had to silently take like some helpless bitch.

There was a hit for being starved and another for Healy being a total jackass and locking me up in the SHU and of course, there was one really good punch for being called Taylor Swift (what? I really dislike her). I kept going, probably grunting obscenely as I finally just unleashed everything I was forced to hold in because of some fucking rules.

I swung back my fist for another punch, another instant of relief from this fucking hell hole when arms wrapped around my middle, pulling me completely off of Doggett's body. "Get the fuck off of me!" I was not going to stop until I was done. I kicked while twisting my body, trying to get out of the trap of arms.

"Chill out, Pipes."

Her voice was warm in my ear, oddly comforting considering the way our last conversation went. I struggled a little more, whining like the little kid she probably thought I was. "I'm not done! Let me finish and then you can take me wherever the hell you want!" I've always been pretty adamant about finishing what I started.

"Piper. Seriously. Calm down.. please." Alex tugged me closer to her chest, her nose mussing up my hair while her lips fluttered along the contours of my ear. She began to rock me in her arms, sedating me in her unspoken lullaby.

My head hung low, my chin bumping against my chest as I stopped struggling, the releasing of emotions draining me physically and I began to cry. I was never much of a crier before prison, but lately, it seemed I had tears for just about anything. The lump of bile resting in my throat disgustingly makes its way back into my stomach while tears trickled down my face. "Fuck her! Fuck. Her." Even as the words leave my mouth, I know that's not what I really meant. "She tried to kill me." I manage to croak out, "I was... I was defending myself."

I swear I hear Alex chuckle. "You and your reasons. You don't have to explain yourself to me, Pipes." A gentle press of her lips came to the side of my head. "I get it. You lost control. It's okay." She shushed me softly, brushing some loose strands behind my ear. "I'm going to let you go now.. okay?"

I nod, knowing I was done, defeated.. whatever. I stay slumped on the snowy ground, disregarding the cold that immediately started sinking into the fabric of my clothes and wishing for the return of Alex's warmth.

"C'mon. Let's go.. before Healy comes back to check and see if you're dead."

I'm fully aware that I was the reason Doggett was lying, potentially lifeless, in the snow, but I couldn't help but asking, "Are we just going to leave her?.. What if she dies?"

Alex rolls her eyes. "Seriously, Piper? You beat the living shit out of Meth Head Mary Magdalene and you're worried about her dying?.."

I flush in embarrassment. I never realize how dumb I sound until my words are repeated back to me. I shrug, "I know.. but I'd feel better if we didn't just leave her."

"Fine. How about.. on the way out, I mention to one of the COs that she's out here? They can figure out the rest."

Again, I nod, allowing her to grab a hold of my hand and take me wherever she wanted.

We end up at her bunk. It's completely empty thanks to the pageant and hopefully the attention on Doggett. Alex lays down, patting her mattress much like she did a few days ago, choosing to repeat her choice of words as well. "Be my little spoon?"

I can't stop the smile from creeping up on my lips. I quietly lay down, pressing my back into her chest only to grab her arms and place them around me. I close my eyes, trying to escape this place for just a second, even in a memory where Alex and I used to sleep like this all the time and where I'd wake up still in her arms.

Alex carefully turns me over so I'm facing her and even in the dark, I can see her smile and the content look on her face. She grabbed my hands gently, she was always so gentle with me, and lifted my knuckles to her lips. She took the time to plant a kiss on each bruise, her gaze never leaving mine.

It's no wonder I fell in love so easily with Alex. She was a manipulating bitch at times, but at the end of the day, Alex knew how to nurture me.

Her fingers slid through my hair restlessly trying to fix it to her idea of perfection. Each time the tips of her fingers brushed my scalp, she placed pressure in a slight massage, a gateway move to making me relax. She kissed my cheek, muttering recollections of our past, trips we took, divine liquors we drank, and the adventure we always sought out. Her lips moved down to the curve of my jaw with promises of future adventures she'd take me on.

The caresses of her mouth were nice and comforting but did nothing to stop my mind from spinning. "I'm going to the SHU. I'm going to fucking die in there!" My voice didn't rise above a whisper, I didn't want to possibly draw attention to the bunks to any passerby.

"Again.. you beat the shit out of Doggett.. yeah, you're going to the SHU. But you're strong.. or you can be. Just stop thinking about it." She brought her lips to the side of my neck, causing shivers. "Think of me instead."

Cuddled in her arms, succumbing slowly to the hypnotizing pull of her lips, I force myself to do just that.. think of her. In less than twelve hours, Doggett (if she didn't die of frostbite or something) would point me out which would inevitably lead me back to the SHU and away from Alex. I slide my hands down the front of her shirt, sucking in breath when they brush over her breasts. I know, it's kind of stupid to silently ask for the possibility of sex not even days after being told to completely stay away.

A chuckle resounded in my ear. "A second ago, you were worried about going to the SHU and now you're trying to start foreplay?.. You're a little fucked up, Chapman." She teased, using my last name as if she weren't more than my acquaintance.

I blush, shaking my head, choking out a giggle. "No.. I was uh.. I just.. I just want to touch you." I shake my head again. "Not.. like that. I mean, yes, I would like to touch you, but I want to touch you.. not touch you touch you."

"Calm down before you have an aneurysm. I get it." She cups my cheek, forcing me to look her in the eye. "Stop thinking."

There isn't any source of light around us, but I know the look she's giving me, the way her lips are slightly parted with the dare that I kiss them, and the way she keeps her hair pushed back with her glasses. I slide my fingers along her face, my thumb caressing the slight protrusion of her cheekbones as I twist a few stray tussles of hair around my index finger. I push myself up on her bed so my mouth is level with hers, our breaths mingling into a single invisible cloud of carbon dioxide. I close my hand into another fist, this time full of hair as I pull Alex closer to me, pulling her lips to mine.

And it's like every other time we've kissed. There's a desperate cry for more, a gentle game of Tug-of-War with our shirts while our legs tango for dominance. It only lasts a few seconds, but it's all I needed. I'm the first to stop the kiss, my forehead resting now against hers. "Thank you." I whisper.

She doesn't reply, just wraps her arms around me tighter, my nose burying into her neck. I feel myself falling asleep, my body eager to give itself up to dreams of promised chances to see the unseen. Before I find myself lost in some country I can't pronounce the name of, I hear Alex say one last thing.

"I heart you."


End file.
